The Ballad of Ken & Yolie
by Blackadder the 9th1
Summary: The TRUE story of how ken and yolie got together. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!


The Ballad Of Ken and Yolie  
  
Tokyo 5th Preceict--8:42A.M  
  
Detective, Isihura Kido(No Relation!)sulked into the office of the sth tokyo precint, Police Department. It had been a long night and it looked like a longer day lay ahead. Eyeing the bustle of the Police station, he quickly searched his shirt pocket for the last cigarette in his pack of luckys, as he siezed the fag,his hand quickly sought out the white carcinogen laiden styrofoam cup to which he could house the brown liquid that Lt,Mikara swore was colombian slow roast.  
  
He weaved through the jungle of cubicals and paperwork to his own little corner of the 12 story building,His office. He slowed his pace as he caught sight of what been the source of his headcache from the night before. His pains, sitting side by side , shuffled thier feet and gulped as they realised ,it was time to spill thier guts.  
  
He took a long drag of his cigarrette and expelled smoke as he swallowed a gulp of coffee,"He smacked his lips and cursed under his breath,"Shit.......So your the digidestined,let's get this over with." He pointed to Kari, "You in my office, let's go! the rest don't you move untill I come get you!" he growled.  
  
The rest ,davis t.k, and cody looked at thier feet.  
  
"Any Questions? he asked with a raised eyebrow, gallently Davis raised his arm.with a low growl Lt.Kido acknowladge him." What is it Motomyia?"  
  
Davis gulped" Are you by chance related to Joe kido?" Detective kido, shook his head and smack davis on the back of the head and he shoved kari into his office. He sat kari at his desk as he sat and prepared to type in her statement. he stared at in a "let's get this over with "gaze, Kari gulped, "B-Before I start I would just like to say, .....I'm never letting yolie near any type of alcohol ever again!"  
  
24 hours earlier...............  
  
Yolie Inoue could not believe she was staring at the flickering 18 lited sticks on top a creamy white cake topped with strawberries and pink icing, She looked across and saw her friends and family, the Digidestined were present, even mimi, well except three, Matt had an excuse, he was currently on tour in northern Japan, somthing Sora wasn't too thrilled about, but two others had no excuse.Yolie gritted her teeth,"Davis and Ken are soo dead!" She thought, as she inhaled and exhaled all of her breath extinguishing all candles, she smiled and closed her eyes to she sound of applause as she thought of her birthday wish that no one would find the bodies of Ken and davis after she was done with them..........  
  
What could he say it was a long night, and before any Yaoi'ers got thier hopes up, it wasntt what you thought. Davis did the boneheaded manuver of drinking and chatting, to which he spilled his highy hgihly carbonated drink , the Flatulator 8000, all over his sister's terminal, and at one a.m and a frantic call away from a painful painful death by Jun's hands, what could Ken say?  
  
I'll be right over.."yawned ken and over the next few hours that lead to the breaking dawn over the Tokyo city, Ken had ressurected jun's computer, thus saving Davis's ass. Davis didnt have time to thanks him before Ken collapsed on his bed, out like a baby. Little did they know that when Ken awoke, it was now HIS ass on the line.  
  
There are few times in life that a man will cry, there are fewer times in a man's life he will squeallike a little girl, this was a reare occasion, that both happened at the same time, It was a little past noon, when Mrs. Motoymia swore she heard Jun scream at the top of her lunsg, with her heart racing she rushed to where the sound originated, insticively she threw open davis's door fearful what she saw. what she saw, was Ken Ichijouchi balled up and whimpering  
  
"She's gonna kill me....she's gonna kill me.........she's gonna kill me............"  
  
at a quarter past twelve, the dynamic duo were out the door, hell bent for yolie's party. Davis of course was clueless as to ken's distain," i dunno what the big deal is, your jst iverslept, i mean you were helping me out! I mean it's not like you are going out or somthing!!!'  
  
Ken only responded with a backhanded slap to davis's noggin.  
  
"davis you dont understand, Yolie and i well I dunno, it's complicated! dont' make me explain it just get me to her place now!!!!" He said as th e two turned the corner to where she lived, seconds turned into days, as minuets turned into years as they raced up to her apt.  
  
Out of breath and not even bothering to knock he pushed through her door, to find only emptiness, a clutterd table with a half eaten cake  
  
"YOLIE!!!!!!" Ken shouted"Yolie Im sorry!!! im so sorry!!!!"  
  
"You must be ken........"Ken turned to see yolie's mom smiling at him warmly. :yolie asked me to give you a message.." To which she smacked ken upside the head.  
  
Yolie was quiet, and errie quiet. and nothing nothign kari could say was getting to her,"Im sure he had agood reason ..."She quipped and both mimi and sora tooka long sigh. Sora tried her best to concentrate on her driving but found Yolie's aura a little too powerful fot her to help Kari, And Mimi who was so good at reaching Yolie too found herself lost in yolies silence.  
  
"Yolie, "mimi said brushing away her reddish brown hair, "you just name anywhere you want to go and we'll take you there ok?" It was long 15 minuets of uncomfotable silence, driving to god knows where in the tokyo city, before she spoke.  
  
"Stop the car!!!!!!!"She shouted,  
  
Sora barley swevered missing a small child as she parked next to the road,"What what is it?!?!"she shouted.  
  
"There....I want to go there"Yolie pointed across the street they all looked across at the mcDonald's across the street.  
  
"you want to go to a mcdonald's???" kari asked....  
  
"No "said yolie:right beside it....."There the place next to it."  
  
As the girls looked at yolie's chosen spot fo her birthday celebration, thier jaws dropped. Japan is know to take aspects of other cultures and make it thier own, but every once in a while other cultures would come and try to imbed themselves into Japanese lifestyle, ,like a tinly painful splinter in the palm ofd your hand, so timy that nothing not even tweezers could pluck it out, so it just sits there days on end , you feel it but can do nothign to tear that little sliver of wood out. Such was the establishment called Stinky Pete's Grill and Honky-tonk. ..  
  
Pete and bill Claymore had dream when they were growing up in rual West Texas. To open up a series of roof rocking Honky-tonk's all over the great state of Texas. But as fate would deal them ,it was not the plan. Due to a "sour"Bisnuess deal the brothers were forced to take thier earnings and flee out of the country. Since his time in the marines, Bill had a soft spot for Japan and thus conviced his brother that the Japanese people needed a taste of texas culture, Thus Stinky Pete's Honky Tonk was born.  
  
it sat in the edge of the Nerima disctrict just outside the heart of tokyo, a few miles east and you hit the sleepy town of Furinkan, and just 15 minutes past Furinkan, Tomobiki. it was the small in size but was bigger on the inside, complete with a dacne floor ,a mechanical bull and a bar with all assortments of drinks you caould find. They played only two types of music, Country and Western. it was frquented alot by americans and american servicemen who were stationed over here that just wanted a taste of back home, but also a good majortiy were curios Japanes who wanted a taste of American Lifestyle. Pete too pride in concuting drinks that no japanese could stand to,he even had a running shot contest ,him and Mr Jack Dabiels versus anyone, the winner would recive one thousand yen.  
  
After much reserve the girls finally entered the establishment. They were greeted to the sounds of American Country music......  
  
"And it 's giutars and caldilacs, hillbilly dreams............."  
  
The girls tooka seat as a waitress came up and took thier orders. Mimi ordered a wine spritzer as sora stuck to only soda as well as kari..  
  
"Beer!"Yolie blurted"anything on tap......"  
  
Well what will it be?" the waitress asked, Yolie stared at her " I dunno, suprise me!" Within a short time drinks were served, as they all stared at Yolie and her huge golden beverage, "Yolie......."Kari said, umm you dont drink........"She loked at akri " well i thoughti would start......"she said as she took a long long gulp, Choking and gaggin she took another sip......  
  
Sora saw the color change on Yolie's face"No good can come of this...."  
  
End Part one.  
  
Part two  
  
One hour and four beers later, Yolie was looking a little red and acting a little surley,The girls had never seen her kick back so much in so little time, and though it was painfully reckless it was a little bit funny to see yolie in such a stae  
  
"Heeeeee'ss such a whiney butt!!!!"She sawggered"I mean so what you were a bastard and almost deystroyed the degital wolrd and enslaved every creature, not to mention come reeeeeal close to killing us!!!! nah nah! why shouls WE hold a gruged*HIC* I -I I I umm excuse me ......"  
  
Yolie's face tightened, "FFFFFFUUUUUURRRRRRPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!" The gurls all wrinkled thier noses as yolie expelled her foul order.  
  
"YOLIE!!!" Kari scolded  
  
Yolie giggled" Hey I don't bitch and I dont burp,SO IT'S GOTTA COME OUT SOMEHOW!HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"  
  
Sora blinked"God she's an annoying drunk!"  
  
Ken and Davis rushed through the streets of Japan, untill at last he called on his D3 T.K and cody"Guys please help me! i dont know where to find Yolie and the girls!"  
  
Cody was calm" Just relax ken she was pretty mad at you ,are you two intimate?"  
  
"no......."  
  
"are you dating?"  
  
"No!!"  
  
"Playing hide the California roll?"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.Cody what's with you?"  
  
T.k Jumped in" Cody's been this way ever since his house started playing the Playboy channell!"  
  
"At least I swing that way.........."Cody pipped  
  
"HEY!!!!!!!!!!" T.k shouted over the D3, Ken cut in "Cut it out you two!!!!!!!!!!are you gonna help me find yolie or what!?" Cody and T.k both agreed to meet them at the station in 20 min.  
  
meanwhile at the bar another collasial bad desicion was about to be made. It was made halfway mid-stream as yolie sat on the can for the fifth straight time.."This stuff goes though me like water!"  
  
She tore off a pice of toliet paper " Perfecto!!!!!!!!!!"She yelled" I know I'll win that 1000 yen prize!"she yelled strormng out of the stall, To which she saw mimi Sora and kari all tunr red faced simutaniously....  
  
"What?" Yolie asked  
  
Kari franticly started ppointing down wards, "CLOSE UP SHOP!!!CLOSE UP SHOP!!!!!CLOSE UP SHOP!!!!!!!!" Yolie suddenly noticed where the "breeze" was coming from as she pulled up her pants" Shhhhh!heheheahahahaha ummmmm I ment to do that........"  
  
she stood up on the table and loudly proclaim" I YOLIE INOUE HERBY*hic* CHALLENGE THE PROPIITOR OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT A DEUL OF THE WORM!!!!!"  
  
Juni a waitress in the bar smile and screamed " Pete!!!! We got a victim!!!""  
  
Pen walked out in a dirtied apron, " Vicitm?" Someone wants to shot me under the tablle? WHO?" He asked loudly, Juni only grinned a pointed at the drunk yolie with ehr fly open stancing ont he table...like a goofus.  
  
Pete chuckled..."Naw you gottta be joking.: "  
  
Yolie leaped fromt he table and strutted to pete  
  
"Yesh!!!" She said patiing his chest" You think your a bad ass you yankee doodle gaijin!"  
  
Pete again chuckled at the young foolish girl...." Girle ...go home..."and trned togo back tot he kitchen , it was then Yolie got cocky.  
  
"Ha! Just what I fugred coming from a yellow belly TEXAN!" She grunted  
  
Kari. Mimi, and sora all grimiced as theyheard a "POP" emminated in the air.  
  
Pete turned around." Missy.......... you best take back what you said about Texas..."  
  
Yolie smirked again " Ok...... i do, Instead I saw the only thing that comes from Texas are STEERS nad QUEERS!, and you dont have any horns!!!!"  
  
Pete sqinted his eyes, "Juni! Bring a bottle of Jack and a coffin........." 


End file.
